21 5 / 2013
Lembas Bread (Lord of the Rings “authentic” Elvish bread)
Ingredients:
2 ½ cups of flour
1 tablespoon of baking powder
¼ teaspoon of salt
½ cup of butter
1/3 cup of brown sugar
1 teaspoon of cinnamon
½ teaspoon honey
2/3 cup of heavy whipping cream
½ teaspoon of vanillaDirections:
Preheat oven to 425F. Mix the flour, baking powder and salt into a large bowl. Add the butter and mix with a well till fine granules (easiest way is with an electric mixer). Then add the sugar and cinnamon, and mix them thoroughly.
Finally add the cream, honey, and vanilla and stir them in with a fork until a nice, thick dough forms.
Roll the dough out about 1/2 in thickness. Cut out 3-inch squares and transfer the dough to a cookie sheet.Criss-cross each square from corner-to-corner with a knife, lightly (not cutting through the dough).
Bake for about 12 minutes or more (depending on the thickness of the bread) until it is set and lightly golden.
***Let cool completely before eating, this bread tastes better room temperature and dry. Also for more flavor you can add more cinnamon or other spices***
as someone who has baked these A LOT
They are REALLY GOOD
and I am reblogging this because I KEEP LOSING MY RECIPE
Via/FollowThe Absolute Greatest Posts…ever.
Must. Try. This. Out. :O
TOTALLY MADE THIS LAST NIGHT! STILL HAVE A PIECE LEFT. IT WAS GOOOD.
We figured out how to combine baking and nerdism. it’s the best thing ever.
(via screamed-the-dustspeck)
20 5 / 2013
11 5 / 2013
MOTHERFUCKING VERSATILE ASS RISOTTO
NEED A DAMN SIDE FOR DINNER? NOTHING TO GO WITH YOUR BLOOD-DRIPPING MEAT OR YOUR HARDCORE VEGETARIAN SUBSTITUTE?
I’M HERE TO SAVE YOUR POOR ASSES.
STEP RIGHT THE FUCK UP MY METAL FRIENDS, BECAUSE WE’RE ABOUT TO MAKE A PRETTY DAMN EASY RISOTTO THAT IS THE SHIT TOGETHER WITH ANYTHING!!
YOU’RE GONNA NEED THE FOLLOWING TO MAKE THIS FUCKER:
- A
MEDIUM-SIZEDPOTGODDAMN VIKING HELMET’S WORTH OF VEGETABLE BROTH- ONE BIG ASS YELLOW ONION
- SOME FUCKING MINCED GARLIC
- A SHITLOAD OF PORTOBELLO MUSHROOMS
- SOME MOTHERFUCKING BUTTER
- A FUCKING BOX OF ARBORIO RICE
- SOME PARMESAN CHEESE - GO FOR MORE IF YOU WANT A CHEESIER TASTE FOR YOUR STRONG ASS TASTE BUDS
- TWO CUPS OF DRY WHITE WINE BREWED FROM THE TEARS YOUR ENEMIES - I RECOMMEND A FRUITY ASS WINE BUT DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT
ALL RIGHT. CHOP THE SHIT OUT OF THAT ONION OF YOURS. MAKE IT FUCKING CRY FOR MERCY.
BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR MUSHROOMS WITH A KNIFE BLESSED BY A CHILD DRESSED LIKE THE POPE. THEY’RE THE MAIN ATTRACTION, SO MAKE SURE THERE’S SOME FUCKING HEARTY CHUNKS IN THERE.
GRATE THE DAMN CHEESE.
HEAT UP A FRYING PAN - MEDIUM HEAT SO YOU DON’T BRING OUT TOO MUCH HELLFIRE. WE DON’T WANT THE DAMN UNIVERSE ALIGHT WITH FLAMES.
FRY UP YOUR ONION AND YOUR GARLIC UNTIL THEY SMELL REALLY FUCKING FINE. FIVE MINUTES OR SO? IDC, AS LONG AS IT TAKES FOR THE ONION TO START APPEARING TRANSLUCENT.
THEN TOSS IN 3/4 OF YOUR MUSHROOMS AND FRY THAT SHIT UP FOR ABOUT SEVEN ASS-KICKING MINUTES!!
ADD A LITTLE EXTRA BUTTER TO THE PAN, THEN THROW ABOUT HALF OF YOUR FINE ASS RICE INTO THE PAN!
FRY THAT SHIT FOR A FEW MINUTES. YES, THERE IS DRY RICE IN THE PAN. CONFUSED? CALM YOUR TITS. IT’LL MAKE SENSE IN A MOMENT.
NOW SPLASH IN A BIT OF WINE AND STIR THAT MIX UP. HOLY SHIT LOOK AT YOUR MAJESTIC ASS, LOOKIN LIKE CHEF FUCKING RAMSES. REMEMBER TO USE WHITE WINE, ASSHAT.
POUR IN A LITTLE OF THAT FINE ASS VEGETABLE BROTH, TO QUELL THE GROWING RAGE WITHIN THAT PAN. .
YOU WANNA STIR COMPLETELY TO BALANCE THE FLAVORS. HEAR THAT? FLAVOR BALANCE, MOTHERFUCKERS, FEELING GOURMET YET?
ONCE ALMOST ALL THE LIQUID IS GONE FROM EVAPORATION, REPEAT THE DAMN WINE AND BROTH PROCESS.
KEEP REPEATING UNTIL YOU’RE OUT OF WINE AND BROTH!
STIR A LOT SO IT DOESN’T DECIDE THAT THIS PROCESS IS BULLSHIT AND START TO BURN~ NOTHING RUINS A NICE AFTERNOON LIKE YOUR FOOD REBELLING.
BUT WAIT, THERE’S A SHIT-TON OF BROTH AND WINE IN THE PAN!
YES, GOOD, YOU’RE OBSERVING. FANTASTIC. STIR ONE LAST TIME AND THEN ALLOW IT TO SIT. ALLOW THIS FOOD TO BELIEVE THAT IT IS SAFE FROM YOUR PASSIONATE WORDS AND TOUCHES FOR THE MOMENT.
SURPRISE! THROW IN THE REMAINING MUSHROOMS. CACKLE AT THE SHOCK YOU SEE IN YOUR FOOD’S FACE, AND CROUCH DOWN TO BE HIDDEN ONCE AGAIN. A PROPER POT DOES NOT BOIL WATCHED.
LEAVE ON THE HEAT, UNCOVERED, WHILE IT SIMMERS. THIS SHOULD EVAPORATE WATER UNTIL ALMOST ALL THE LIQUID IS GONE AGAIN, LEAVING ONLY TRIUMPHANT FLAVOR BEHIND~
NOW TOSS IN YOUR FINE-ASS CHEESE.
IF YOU WANT THIS SHIT TO BE MORE LIQUIDY, REMOVE THE PAN FROM THE FLAMES OF HELL NOW!! IF YOU DON’T, KEEP IT IN THE DEVIL’S DOMAIN FOR A LITTLE LONGER!
CONGRATS, CHAMP. YOU’VE NOW MADE SOME FINE ASS RISOTTO THAT GOES WELL WITH FUCKING ANYTHING.
10 5 / 2013
1 can root beer, cold
2 shots or more of Jack Daniel’s*
1 big scoop of vanilla ice cream
- In a mug, pour shots of JD whiskey.
- Add in root beer and stir for 5 seconds.
- Top with vanilla ice cream. Serve immediately.
*Adjust the amount of alcohol depending on how much of a hit you want to achieve.A, go buy a new bottle of jack.
06 5 / 2013
Crispy Garlic Dill Pickles recipe http://whatsfordinner-momwhatsfordinner.blogspot.com/2013/05/refrigerator-dill-pickles.html
29 4 / 2013
Sourdough Danish Pastries Tutorial {You must click link for FULL tutorial/recipe}
Mmmmm laminated doughs and Viennoiserie… ~drools~
(via geekgirlsmash)
25 4 / 2013
Egg Watchers: the egg timer that entertains you
It’s boring watching your egg boil, but it’s fun watching videos! EggWatchers selects a video of the exact time it takes to cook your egg. So no forgetting, no getting bored, and no bad eggs. Woot.Look! Fun kitchen tools!
AWESOME!
22 4 / 2013
How to Scramble Eggs with Gordon Ramsay
1. he seems like a chill mofo to hang with
2. what the hell have i been eating my entire life
Public Service Announcement: Best Scrambled Eggs
Things people seem to forget: Gordon Ramsay is one of the coolest motherfuckers alive. Also now I want those scrambled eggs
And here I thought expletives were 85% of his language. It’s strange seeing him in a normal cooking environment. I’ve only ever seen him telling people what they do wrong.
Right? Like, I want to like him now but I’m apprehensive…
i fucking love gordon ramsay
22 4 / 2013
My own blueberry/spinach smoothie this morning
Yes, it tastes amazing. I promise, the spinach doesn’t make it taste gross.
Okay, so I don’t have really have measurements for anything except the blueberries (used a measuring cup as a scoop) and the ice cubes, but here’s my best guesstimate for the smoothie I just made.
-3 ice cubes
-3/4 cup frozen blueberries
-vanilla soy milk (1/2 cup?)
- 1/4 cup(ish) plain greek yogurt (vanilla would also be awesome)
-1/2 banana
- 1 Tbsp (ish) chia seeds
-1-2 Tbsp honey
-1-2 handfuls of spinach leaves, rinsed
Layer ingredients in order in a magic bullet cup (party cup will be VERY full), and screw on blades. Blend until smoooooth. Add more soy milk and/or honey as needed.
Enjoy!
